At my routine 20 week scan I could tell that something wasn’t quite right as the technician kept rescanning and measuring my baby – but of course she wasn’t allowed to tell me anything,  I had to wait until my midwife got results and she told me that his long bones in both arms and legs were measuring very short.  Two days later I was referred to a specialist at Hastings hospital who told me that it looked as though my baby was going to be a dwarf and offered me a termination – I was horrified at this offer because to me this was no reason to terminate.

At 21 weeks I was sent to see a specialist at Wellington Hospital. After scans and an amniocentesis  I was then sent home to await the results which would take 10 days.  After 10 days I got a phone call saying that I needed to go to Wellington the next day for the results.

I was told that they had found Cytomegalovirus in amniotic fluid but it wasn’t in my blood.  Again I was offered a termination and this time I had to consider it as this virus does serious damage to the baby’s brain.  I asked for another amniocentesis just to make sure and after waiting another 10 days for the results they told me that it was all clear and that the first results were incorrect.   I was then asked what I wanted to do as the baby was still not growing properly.  I told them that I would be continuing with the pregnancy and if it is meant to be it will be.

For the next six weeks I travelled to Wellington every Thursday for a scan . The specialist had determined that my placenta was very small and was not functioning properly. On  the last two trips I was also given blood transfusions to try to help my placenta – hooked up to a drip for 6-7 hours and then having to drive 3.5 hours home was not much fun but if this was going to help my baby I was happy to do it.  The specialist wanted to try to get me to at least 32 weeks and the baby at least 500gms.  At 500gms they say babies are viable.  At every scan it was fingers crossed that he was still growing and that my placenta was still doing ok.

Finally at 27 weeks I was told I could not go home and was admitted to the hospital where I was scanned every second day and on foetal monitor twice a day.  During my time on the ward I was fortunate to be shown the Neo Natal Unit, as I am sure it would have been so overwhelming if I had not previously seen all the equipment involved in keeping premature babies alive.

On the afternoon of Wednesday 8th August 2007, just 6 days after being admitted,  I was told that I was going to be having this baby in a few hours by c-section, he had more chance of survival on the outside. At 8.53pm Lochie arrived weighing 690gms and was put into an incubator and taken to NICU.   690gms was a huge bonus as he was scanning at only 500gms.  It was another 4 hours before I was able to go see him.  When I finally did get to see him he was so tiny and hooked up to tubes and monitors.  Thank goodness for my previous visit to NICU!! He was ventilated but during the night was transferred onto the Midline CPAP on room air.  This was the start of my life revolving around the NICU.  I became involved in Lochie’s cares washing his face, changing nappies and changing his probes when ever they needed doing .    I had to wait for 15 days before I was able to have first cuddles with him. This was great but with prem babies it can all change so quickly so it was not always an option – if Lochie was having a bad day, then cuddles were not available.  It is always said with prem babies that you sometimes take 1 step forward and the 2 steps backward – I found this was often the case.

Lochie had low blood sugar, jaundice and chronic lung disease.  He had lots of apnoea’s & bradycardia requiring stimulation to get him going again.  He also had lots of blood transfusions (I think 6 in total).

On day 22 I noticed that Lochie looked a bit blotchy and mentioned to the nurses, he then had a lumbar puncture and they then had to tell me that my son had viral meningitis – I didn’t hear anything else they told me apart from that dreaded M word.  Lochie was back on the ventilator, feeds stopped, antibiotics started and on a brain monitor.

After a few days he is starting to feel better and so is back on the CPAP but feeds of 2mls 2 hourly don’t start again for another 5 days.  Head Ultrasound shows that a bilateral grade 2 bleed has developed after the meningitis.  Scanned again in a few days to make sure not getting worse and has stayed at a grade 2.

After spending 2 months in Wellington NICU Lochie was transferred back to Hastings SCBU this was a great day but also a very sad day.  Great that he had made such great progress but very sad that we had to leave all the great nurses and doctors that I had trusted with my son’s life and also sad to say goodbye to the other families that I had met while staying at Ronald McDonald House – although we are still in touch with them.

Arriving at Hastings SCBU was a very tough change for me – even though I was now closer to home, the staff didn’t know my son and all I wanted to do was go back to Wellington.

Lochie progressed very quickly and we started breastfeeding within a week of arriving back – great to finally not have to be hooked up to a breast pump 4 hourly!!!  Two weeks before being discharged Lochie decides he doesn’t need an extra oxygen so he his taken off nasal prongs.  This was great but also strange as I wasn’t used to seeing his face without tubes and tape all over it.

After a month in SCBU I am finally allowed to take my little man home weighing 2.3kgs.  Very emotional day!!!

Today Lochie is a very happy little boy and I am so thankful that I have him.  His development is delayed and he has been diagnosed with mild cerebral palsy due to the brain bleed he had.   Lochie has therapy once a week and we are about to start a 6 week intense therapy course for him at Conductive Education in Auckland.